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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Spotted on Telegram:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Just landed via Facebook:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Just landed via Reddit:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Making waves on Twitch:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

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I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Netflix autoplay is my DJ and my phone screen is the dance floor 🎶📱💃 #MultitaskingMaster

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

69 shares on Instagram this month:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,820

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Live now on YouTube:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Just shared via Messenger:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Making waves on Discord:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Going viral on Instagram:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Spotted on X:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

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