I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.