I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

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I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

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I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

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In banana years, I am bread.

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Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

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When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

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Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

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It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

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This meeting could have been an AI summary.

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Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.