Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Trending via Reddit:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Spotted on Discord:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Trending via Messenger:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about realizing boxing is unfair, with a humorous, playful tone.

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Commentary:
Sounds like a knockout decision! 🥴🥊🙌

allowed, boxing, competition, face, face punch, humor, i, joke, me, moment, opponent, punch, quit, quitting, sarcastic, sports, too

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Threads this month:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

45 shares on Threads this month:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

34 shares on X this month:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Making waves on Telegram:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Making waves on YouTube:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Just shared via Instagram:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Making waves on WeChat:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Going viral on Instagram:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Trending via Threads:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨