Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Breaking via X:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Going bananas on Discord:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Spotted on Slack:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Trending via Twitch:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mirror me for the win because the camera adds ten pounds and zero confidence! 😄📸🪞

appearance, camera, hope, humor, i, me, mirror, photography, reflection, self-image, version

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, conflict, fight, fitted, fitted sheet, humor, irony, knife, knife fight, preparation, sheet, unexpected
Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

0

2 months ago

after, birthday, birthday party, celebration, everyone, going, Hobbit, huge, humor, insult, insulting, myself, party, right, self-party, summer, throw, vanish
The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

0

2 months ago

animal, conspiracy, coo, government, humor, overthrow, pigeon, plot, plotting, satire, start
We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

0

2 months ago

always, asked, hiding, humor, irony, mystery, never, perspective, question, Waldo, where
My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

0

2 months ago

2, 2 a.m., a.m., am, brain, funny thought, humor, insomnia, late, late night, night, sleep, thought
I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

0

2 months ago

alone, humor, i, independence, introvert, lot, nothing, personal, personal space, solitude, space

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on YouTube this month:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Trending via WeChat:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Going viral on Instagram:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Live now on Twitch:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨