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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Going viral on Messenger:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Seen just now on X:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Going viral on Reddit:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Spotted on Twitch:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when our mobile devices were all about pedals and wheels 🚲😄 Who needs smartphones when you have the ultimate two-wheeled transport, right? Riding your bike was the original hands-free, screen-free, and app-free fun! 📱 #ThrowbackToSimplerTimes

activity, bike, childhood, device, fun, fun activity, i, kid, memory, mobile, mobile device, nostalgia, outdoor, outdoor play, play, remember

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

74 shares on Threads this month:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Seen just now on Threads:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Just landed via WeChat:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Making waves on Reddit:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

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