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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

14 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Just landed via X:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Just shared via Messenger:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Just shared via Discord:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Going viral on Twitch:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

6 months ago

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when our mobile devices were all about pedals and wheels 🚲😄 Who needs smartphones when you have the ultimate two-wheeled transport, right? Riding your bike was the original hands-free, screen-free, and app-free fun! 📱 #ThrowbackToSimplerTimes

activity, bike, childhood, device, fun, fun activity, i, kid, memory, mobile, mobile device, nostalgia, outdoor, outdoor play, play, remember

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

14 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Seen just now on Threads:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Going viral on Facebook:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Trending via Snapchat:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

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