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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Just landed via Threads:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Trending via Reddit:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Going viral on YouTube:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Spotted on Reddit:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Making waves on Discord:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

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I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.
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Commentary:
Oh, the horror of group assignments looming like a dark, mysterious forest! 🌲👻 Don't worry, you're not alone in your fear of projects after experiencing Blair Witch at a tender age. Just remember, there's no need to summon spooky spirits to get your work done on time! 😉📚 #ProjectFear #BlairWitchNightmares

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on X this month:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

82 shares on Threads this month:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

10 shares on Threads this month:

I would prefer not to.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Trending via Telegram:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Going viral on Messenger:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Seen just now on Slack:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

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