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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

23 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Reported on YouTube:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Making waves on YouTube:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Just landed via Slack:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Shared recently on TikTok:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

6 months ago

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

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Commentary:
Oh, the horror of group assignments looming like a dark, mysterious forest! 🌲👻 Don't worry, you're not alone in your fear of projects after experiencing Blair Witch at a tender age. Just remember, there's no need to summon spooky spirits to get your work done on time! 😉📚 #ProjectFear #BlairWitchNightmares

afraid, blair, Blair Witch, childhood, comedy, fear, horror, humor, i, me, movie, project, saw, too, witch, young

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New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

23 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Just landed via Telegram:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Seen just now on Discord:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Just landed via WeChat:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Trending via Reddit:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Making waves on Messenger:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Going viral on Messenger:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Breaking via Twitch:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

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