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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Going viral on X:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Just shared via Facebook:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Trending via YouTube:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Just shared via Reddit:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Shared recently on Discord:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hope your insurance covers mysterious creature collisions! 🚗😅🦄

accident, car, funny statement, hit, i, just, Labubu, statement, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

0

3 months ago

addiction, civilization, communication, detox, digital, digital detox, humor, media, need, over, phone, put, social, social media, technology
Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

0

2 months ago

commitment, fix, humor, lady, man, need, procrastination, relationship, reminder
Cool times create cool guys.

0

2 months ago

confidence, cool, cool guy, cool times, create, fun, guy, guys, humor, lifestyle, times
To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

0

2 months ago

comedy, cut, financial, financial situation, humor, i, joke, money, short, situation, spent, story, storytelling
Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

0

5 months ago

asked, child, honesty, humor, nobody, parenting, roommate, toddler, toddlers
The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

0

6 days ago

ability, able, exactly, female, female intuition, following, girl, guess, guessing, humor, intuition, media, relationship, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

12 shares on Messenger this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Trending via TikTok:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Going viral on Facebook:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Cool times create cool guys.

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨