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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,767

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Making waves on X:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Trending via YouTube:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Going bananas on Slack:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Going viral on TikTok:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Breaking via TikTok:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

1 month ago

Humorous text about accidentally hitting a mysterious creature with a car.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hope your insurance covers mysterious creature collisions! 🚗😅🦄

accident, car, funny statement, hit, i, just, Labubu, statement, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

65 shares on X this month:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

25 shares on Slack this month:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

85 shares on X this month:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

39 shares on X this month:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

52 shares on Threads this month:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Breaking via Instagram:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Breaking via Telegram:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Making waves on Telegram:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Just shared via Facebook:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Making waves on YouTube:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨