Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Breaking via Telegram:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Just shared via Facebook:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your phone doesn't understand the urgency of pizza and pajamas 🍕📱😅

broken, button, frustration, home, home button, humor, i, office, phone, still, technology, think, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

0

2 months ago

burial, business, correct, cremation, customer, customer service, customers, fired, funeral, funeral home, home, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, misunderstanding, service, smoking, term, wanted, workplace
Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

0

2 months ago

comfort, home, humor, seat, toilet, trust
So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

0

2 months ago

apparently, away, humor, ignore, ignoring, lesson, life, life lesson, problem, problems, truth
I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

0

2 months ago

card, comparison, credit, credit card, denied, financial, humor, joke, used, wit
My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

0

2 months ago

90s, brother, example, family, humor, mother, nostalgia, older, sibling, still, things, ugly, ugly things
Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

0

2 months ago

apology, communication, customer, customer service, fault, good, humor, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, me, sarcasm, service, skills, things, want, well, why, work, work skills

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Discord this month:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Live now on WeChat:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Going viral on Reddit:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Making waves on X:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Trending via Instagram:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Going viral on Slack:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Seen just now on Threads:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨