Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Just landed via Reddit:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Shared recently on Reddit:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Just shared via Discord:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Just shared via X:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Making waves on Reddit:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your phone doesn't understand the urgency of pizza and pajamas 🍕📱😅

broken, button, frustration, home, home button, humor, i, office, phone, still, technology, think, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

0

2 months ago

Beatles, humor, interpretation, lyric, lyric interpretation, me, music, over, right, say, song, song lyric, The Beatles, together, why
Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, Christmas, financial, financial struggle, getting, gift, holiday, holiday spirit, hug, humor, just, looks, money, spirit, struggle
Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

0

2 months ago

childhood, family, forget, house, humor, memory, never, noisy, noisy toy, parents, things, toy, toys
IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

0

2 months ago

arrival, cheaper, comparison, cook, doing, food, having, here, humor, IKEA, products, should, still, takeout, work
Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

0

2 months ago

cream, every, fast, fast food, flag, fly, food, half, half mast, humor, ice, ice cream, machine, mast, McDonald’s, should
Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

0

4 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, being, clock, feels, flirt, hostage, hostage situation, humor, situation, while, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Reddit this month:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

64 shares on X this month:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

45 shares on WeChat this month:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

81 shares on X this month:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Just landed via Discord:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Going viral on Discord:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Trending via Instagram:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Just landed via Reddit:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Trending via Threads:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Going bananas on TikTok:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨