Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,016

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Just landed via Telegram:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Just landed via Threads:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Making waves on Twitch:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Going viral on Telegram:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

I think my type is a nice person.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your dating app filter just says "human" 😆❤️

dating, humor, i, nice, nice person, person, personality, think, type

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

1 month ago
casual, communication, email, follow, follow up, humor, ignored, procrastination, reminder
Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

1 month ago
care, driving, humor, i, passenger, princess, relationship, safety
I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

1 month ago
blunt, fate, honesty, humor, me, personality, self-awareness, universe
It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

1 month ago
activity, catch, comedy, cream, event, flip, flip flops, flops, fun, funny event, humorous, humorous sports, ice, ice cream man, man, Olympics, playful, playful activity, running, should, sports, summer, summer fun, Summer Olympics
Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

2 months ago
chronological, chronological order, follow, follower, humor, idea, Instagram, media, only, order, people, post, posts, shows, social, social media, startup
Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

1 month ago
car, collection, hobby, hot, Hot Wheels, humor, i, over, playful, toy, visit, wheels

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Going viral on Threads:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Trending via Twitch:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Making waves on X:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think my type is a nice person.

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I think my type is a nice person.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏