Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,704

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Going viral on Facebook:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Just shared via Threads:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Shared recently on Discord:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Freshly posted on X:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a solid plan—those applications are now open! 💌😂

date, desire, girlfriend, guy, guys, i, love, relationship, romantic, romantic desire

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

2 months ago

bad, bad example, example, expense, humor, humor at expense of self, i, self, self-deprecating, used, usefulness, useless
We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

2 months ago

around, clumsiness, embarrassment, funny moment, idiocy, idiots, jump, knickers, least, malfunction, moment, once, playful, room, t, wardrobe, wardrobe malfunction
Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

3 months ago

call, Facetime, funny observation, humility, humor, observation, screenshot, seeing, self-image, technology, video, video call, yourself
The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

2 months ago

app, care, confusion, gardening, helpful, humor, i, much, plant, thanks, too, watered
Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

2 months ago

always, breakup, comedy, emotional, houston, humor, i, independence, just, love, loved, mean, point, relationships, sarcasm, whitney, Whitney Houston
Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

2 months ago

blood, cravings, end, ever, fantasy, food, funny thought, human, humor, insects, mosquito, obsession, pizza, pursuit, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Slack this month:

I need a break from me.

95 shares on Slack this month:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

72 shares on Slack this month:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Spotted on Messenger:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Spotted on YouTube:

I am half agony, half hope.

Just landed via Messenger:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Shared recently on Slack:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Trending via WeChat:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Shared recently on Messenger:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Breaking via Reddit:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨