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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Live now on TikTok:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Spotted on WeChat:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Going viral on Threads:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Seen just now on Threads:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about wanting a genuinely loving boyfriend, playful and humorous in tone.

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Commentary:
Sounds like a solid plan—those applications are now open! 💌😂

date, desire, girlfriend, guy, guys, i, love, relationship, romantic, romantic desire

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

4 days ago

advice, aunty, child, family, focus, hear, humor, i, know, needs, own, parenting
As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

3 days ago

comfort, ever, hear, humor, i, most, motivation, procrastination, starting, student, words
Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

3 days ago

breakup, divorce, free, humor, joke, level, library, little, putting, relationship, scrapbook, unprecedented, wedding
Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

2 weeks ago

away, bird, fly, freedom, God, humor, i, me, people, poop, wish
Ugh, but profoundly.

3 days ago

attitude, expression, frustration, humor, irony, remark, sarcasm, ugh, witty, witty remark
I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

2 days ago

crazy, crazy town, humor, i, joke, just, legend, local, local legend, said, sarcasm, town

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Slack this month:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Life is weird and then you die.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Making waves on Telegram:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Just landed via Threads:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Going viral on Pinterest:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Just shared via Slack:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Just landed via Discord:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Trending via Telegram:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Ugh, but profoundly.

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨