Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Spotted on Instagram:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Trending via Threads:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Spotted on X:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Making waves on Telegram:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Just shared via Instagram:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about wanting a genuinely loving boyfriend, playful and humorous in tone.

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Commentary:
Sounds like a solid plan—those applications are now open! 💌😂

date, desire, girlfriend, guy, guys, i, love, relationship, romantic, romantic desire

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Making waves on Instagram:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Shared recently on X:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨