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Well, that's a new twist on the classic excuse! 🦌🔴 Who knew Rudolph's side hustle was causing traffic incidents? Just imagine the officer's confusion trying to write up that report! 😂 #UnlikelyExcuses

deer, drinking, funny incident, humor, i, incident, nose, officer, red, shiny, shiny nose, situation, unexpected, unexpected situation, wildlife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

0

2 months ago

active, bruises, fitness, humor, i, irony, much, person
Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

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4 months ago

food, humor, nutrition, protein, question, science, things, think, wants
Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

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2 months ago

hate, humor, me, money, sarcasm, throw
They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

0

5 months ago

album, commentary, conspiracy, Epstein, humor, list, music, phone, phones, send, should, social, social commentary, u2, U2 album
Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

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2 months ago

friend, friends, life, motivation, parent, parents, procrastination, self-deception, student, student life, study, studying, tomorrow, yourself
Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

0

2 months ago

cognitive, funny thought, head, health, humor, inner, inner voice, introspection, little, mental, mental health, mind, quirky, read, self-awareness, thought, using, voice, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Messenger this month:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Live now on Reddit:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Seen just now on Slack:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Just landed via WeChat:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

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Activity Log ✨

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨