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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

43 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Live now on Threads:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Making waves on WeChat:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Shared recently on TikTok:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Reported on Pinterest:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Broadcasted on X:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

4 months ago

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh mirror, mirror on the wall, why you gotta make me feel so small? 💔 Maybe the mirror needs some glasses to see how truly fabulous you are! 💁‍♀️ Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder… and sometimes that beholder needs a reality check! 😂 Mirror, mirror, go easy on my ego next time! 🪞 #MirrorMirrorOnTheWall #BodyShamingDrama

body, body shame, comedy, humor, i, insecurity, just, mirror, reflection, self-image, shame

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

43 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Shared recently on X:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Just landed via Messenger:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Making waves on Facebook:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Reported on Threads:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Spotted on Instagram:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Spotted on Threads:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

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