Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Shared recently on Threads:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Shared recently on Slack:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Shared recently on Slack:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Making waves on Reddit:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Just shared via WeChat:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about financial ambitions and spending habits, humorous and playful in tone.

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Commentary:
Sounds like my wallet missed that memo! 💸😂

finance, humor, i, lifestyle, meant, money, rich, self-awareness, spend, spending, tell

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

93 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Trending via Snapchat:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Going viral on Twitch:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Just landed via Facebook:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Spotted on Messenger:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Breaking via Telegram:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

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Activity Log ✨

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨