Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Going viral on Twitch:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Going bananas on YouTube:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Trending via Instagram:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Just shared via WeChat:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Making waves on Slack:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my wallet missed that memo! 💸😂

finance, humor, i, lifestyle, meant, money, rich, self-awareness, spend, spending, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

0

2 months ago

attraction, date, God, humor, level, love, me, oh, point, romance, someone, spontaneity, thought, well
I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

0

5 months ago

childhood, humor, i, kindergarten, leisure, nap, read, reading, relaxation, sit, snack, take, want
I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, Christmas light, human, human version, humor, light, lights, mess, personality, tangled, version
The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

0

4 months ago

burnout, energy, even, exhaustion, fatigue, levels, reaching, stress, tiredness
I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

0

2 months ago

around, attitude, badass, casual, casual attitude, chewing, confidence, enough, humor, never, self-image, toothpick, toughness, walk
I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

0

2 months ago

away, comparison, cords, day, humor, husband, i, keep, need, old, organization, preparedness, screenshot, storage

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Making waves on Discord:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Breaking via Threads:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Live now on Slack:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Live now on Instagram:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨