I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

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My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

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According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

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They’re making me do work at work.

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I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

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Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

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I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

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Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

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I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

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Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

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People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.