Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Just landed via Slack:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Just landed via Instagram:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Shared recently on Slack:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Making waves on X:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Live now on Discord:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Going viral on YouTube:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Trending via Instagram:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"When the going gets tough, the tough go online shopping! 💳😄👗 #RetailTherapy"

clothes, humor, i, mood, new, okay, retail, retail therapy, sad, self-care, shopping, therapy

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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

25 shares on Slack this month:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

93 shares on Discord this month:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

70 shares on Discord this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Just shared via X:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Overthinkaholic!

Just landed via Reddit:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Shared recently on X:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Going viral on Discord:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Making waves on TikTok:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨