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Commentary:
"Wouldn't that be just the dream? 🏋️‍♀️💪 No need for sweating or grunting, just a quick gym drop-off! Oh well, back to reality where we actually have to put in the work ourselves. 😅 #WishfulThinking"

body, drop, drop off, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, i, just, later, pick, pick-up, wish

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People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

4 weeks ago
adulting, age, bribe, child, children, chore, chores, doing, here, humor, just, myself, own, people, raising, self-motivation, treat, treats, trying
What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

2 months ago
babe, communication, confusion, dating, humor, love, mixed, mixed signal, relationship, sarcasm, signal, signals, wrong
Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

3 months ago
25, advice, after, age, before, brain, decision, girl, girls, humor, i, kid, kids, marriage, married, reasonable, relationship, us, why, working
I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

1 month ago
automotive, car, cutting, driving, hell, humor, i, let, love, me, merge, merging, over, rage, road, road rage, sarcasm, sure, Tesla
I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

1 month ago
am, bird, buddy, dreams, give, humor, i, inspiration, morning, motivation, nature, perseverance, saw, today, worm
These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

1 month ago
birthday, calendar, days, Facebook, fun, humor, i, media, online, social, social media, technology

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

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Going viral on Pinterest:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Breaking via X:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Breaking via Slack:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

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I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

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I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

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