I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.