I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Commentary:
“Wouldn’t that be just the dream? 🏋️‍♀️💪 No need for sweating or grunting, just a quick gym drop-off! Oh well, back to reality where we actually have to put in the work ourselves. 😅 #WishfulThinking”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like the whales got their own fan club now! 🐋👏 Sorry regular fish, you’d better step up your game next time or face the boos! 🐟👎😂”

  • I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a winter wonderland when you’re already melting in the summer sun? ☀️ Thankfully, snow shoveling can wait… at least until it’s cooler than the surface of the sun! 🥵❄️”

  • If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

    Commentary:
    “Why is there a light in the fridge if we’re not supposed to snack late at night? 🤔 Maybe it’s there to spotlight our midnight cravings and illuminate the path to temptation! 🌟🍕 Who needs self-control when you have a fridge light guiding the way to deliciousness? 😂 #LateNightSnackAttacks”

  • Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

    Commentary:
    “Who needs beauty when you’ve got laughs for days? 😄 Embrace your inner comedian and watch those beauty standards fade away like a distant memory! 🤣 #FunnyOverBeauty”

  • “Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, you mean ‘advanced social media research’ 😉🔍 Just call me a tech-savvy Sherlock Holmes! 🕵️‍♂️ #ProfessionalStalker”

  • What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

    Commentary:
    “Surviving a near-death experience is one thing, but dodging a ‘Hey, stranger!’ text 5 months later? That takes true resilience and a good block button! 😂📱 #JustSurvivorThings”