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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2476 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,638

Funny Quotes Topics

15,321

Funny Quotes Images

12,638

5 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Just shared via YouTube:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Just landed via Slack:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Breaking via Pinterest:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Just landed via Messenger:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Live now on X:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Breaking via TikTok:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Freshly posted on Threads:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Trending via YouTube:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Jan 23, 2025

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of feeling wide awake right before bedtime but hitting a post-lunch slump faster than a speeding bullet at work! 😂💤 It's like our bodies have their own secret agenda to keep us on our toes (or should I say, on our pillows?) all day long! 💼🛌 #WorkHardNapHarder"

am, bed, fatigue, humor, i, irony, lunch, night, rest, tired, wish, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2476 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,638

Funny Quotes Topics

15,321

Funny Quotes Images

12,638

5 minutes ago

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Just landed via Messenger:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Trending via Twitch:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Seen just now on Threads:

I love having plans to cancel.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Spotted on Twitch:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

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