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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Seen just now on X:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Just shared via WeChat:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Just shared via TikTok:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sometimes, when you go with the flow you end up drowning with everyone else.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Shared recently on Discord:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Playful quote about snow plows recreating Game of Thrones wall at the driveway end.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like winter is coming in full force! 🌨️❄️ Who needs the Night's Watch when you have the municipal snow plow guarding your driveway like the Wall from Game of Thrones? Just make sure you don't encounter any White Walkers on your way to work! ⚔️ #WinterIsHere

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

26 shares on Discord this month:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

73 shares on X this month:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

12 shares on Threads this month:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Making waves on Twitch:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Going viral on Telegram:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Going viral on TikTok:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Just shared via Threads:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Just shared via Reddit:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Breaking via Messenger:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Just shared via WeChat:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

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