Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Spotted on Messenger:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Just shared via Reddit:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Trending via Facebook:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Just shared via Discord:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Trending via Telegram:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'm off to the Land of "Leave Me Alone-ia"—catch you later, Earthlings! 🚀🌌😴

anyone, different, different realm, escape, fantasy, humor, introvert, joke, me, needs, realm, social, social withdrawal, withdrawal

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

0

5 months ago

hack, humor, husband, lose, matching, matching pair, me, packing, pair, reader, rolling, sock, sock trick, together, told, travel, travel hack, trick, trip, used
If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

0

2 months ago

college, couple, experience, humor, i, learning, pepper, pepper spray, spray, sting
Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

0

2 months ago

bugs, Bugs Bunny, bunny, cartoon, cartoon wisdom, choices, fight, flight, humor, i, lady, lessons, life, life lessons, limited, me, pretend, pretty, pretty lady, wisdom
Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

0

5 months ago

attitude, fear, humor, know, maybe, Monday, motivation, scared, us, week
“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

0

2 months ago

AI, boss, bus, coming, coworker, done, humor, ID, jobs, office, responsibility, sarcasm, soon, throw, under, work, workplace
Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

0

2 months ago

computer, confusion, humor, job, know, office, password, procrastination, technology, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Instagram this month:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

74 shares on X this month:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Friends with consequences.

26 shares on X this month:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

68 shares on Threads this month:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Making waves on Twitch:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Going viral on Facebook:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Going viral on Facebook:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Going viral on Messenger:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Seen just now on Instagram:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Trending via YouTube:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨