Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,766

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Going bananas on Slack:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just landed via Snapchat:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Shared recently on Messenger:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Going viral on Discord:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Trending via WeChat:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Live now on Snapchat:

You’re so productive for your wage.

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about snacking indecision, humorously suggesting a love for snack aisle adventures.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Lost but never hungry! 🍪🛒😂 If you find me in the snack aisle, just bring a cart!"

aisle, check, decision, ever, food, humor, i, just, missing, snack

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Messenger this month:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

31 shares on X this month:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

33 shares on Slack this month:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Trending via Telegram:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Spotted on YouTube:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Spotted on X:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Spotted on Slack:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Broadcasted on Slack:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

I need money, not feelings.

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

I need money, not feelings.

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨