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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Making waves on Facebook:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Live now on WhatsApp:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Live now on Facebook:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

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If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.
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Commentary:
"Lost but never hungry! 🍪🛒😂 If you find me in the snack aisle, just bring a cart!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

88 shares on Discord this month:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Trending via Pinterest:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Shared recently on Slack:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Just shared via YouTube:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Seen just now on Telegram:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

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