Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Trending via X:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Shared recently on Threads:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Just shared via Facebook:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Going viral on Threads:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Just landed via Messenger:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Witty text about missing persons and weight, with a humorous, playful vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, just describe me as 'Last seen at the fridge' instead 🍔🍟😄 #MissingNotLost"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

66 shares on Slack this month:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

58 shares on Facebook this month:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

40 shares on Threads this month:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being awake is the worst.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Broadcasted on X:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Seen just now on Discord:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Making waves on Facebook:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Going bananas on Threads:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Going bananas on Threads:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Just landed via Reddit:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

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