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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Just shared via Slack:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just hit me with that 'hush now' voice and watch my fury turn to fondue, melted and cheesy! 🎶😇🍫

anger, communication, conversation, emotion, ever, humor, just, mad, me, relationship, sweetness, talk, tone, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

0

2 months ago

actually, again, conversation, encounter, humor, i, insight, love, never, perspective, random, random encounter, say, shit, stranger, strangers, talking
11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

0

2 months ago

am, anything, attitude, daily, daily routine, humor, motivation, possibility, procrastination, routine, time, today
I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, lot, online, people, prison
No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

0

2 months ago

better, comedy, family, humor, miscommunication, misunderstanding, modern, Modern Family, plot, show
Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

0

2 months ago

chop, chopping, cooking, crispy, delicious, food, foreplay, great, humor, i, joke, oven, peel, peeling, pieces, roast, roasting, where
How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

0

2 months ago

future, humor, life, morning, motivation, procrastination, readines, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

27 shares on X this month:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

86 shares on Slack this month:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

64 shares on Threads this month:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Spotted on YouTube:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Trending via Telegram:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Just landed via Threads:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Going bananas on Discord:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨