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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,850

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Making waves on Threads:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Just landed via Slack:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Trending via Slack:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Going viral on Discord:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

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If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.
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Commentary:
"When the bartender starts looking like Simon Cowell, you know it's time to hit the stage! 🎤🍻😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on YouTube this month:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

97 shares on X this month:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,090

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Just shared via X:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Shared recently on Discord:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Making waves on Facebook:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Making waves on Facebook:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Going bananas on Instagram:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

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