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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Shared recently on WeChat:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Trending via Instagram:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Spotted on Telegram:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Making waves on Twitch:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Just shared via Reddit:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Spotted on Reddit:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Humorous quote highlighting how alcohol turns any bar into a karaoke venue.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When the bartender starts looking like Simon Cowell, you know it's time to hit the stage! 🎤🍻😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Slack this month:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

21 shares on X this month:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

62 shares on Discord this month:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Breaking via Messenger:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Just landed via Messenger:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Breaking via WeChat:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Live now on WeChat:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Just landed via Facebook:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Making waves on WeChat:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

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