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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has shared:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has shared:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Forget about β€œlong story short”… I’m gonna start saying β€œshort story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has downloaded:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has shared:

β€œStop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has bookmarked:

I love saying β€œsounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has viewed:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,232

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Twitch:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, β€œYour problem now.”

Making waves on WeChat:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Making waves on Facebook:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Just shared via Slack:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Broadcasted on X:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Breaking via Snapchat:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

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If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.
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Commentary:
Looks like someone misplaced their sense of humor… again! πŸ˜„πŸ”πŸš«

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on X this month:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

60 shares on Discord this month:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

42 shares on Threads this month:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has viewed:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has downloaded:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has viewed:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has copied:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has copied:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like β€œohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Breaking via TikTok:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Making waves on X:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Breaking via Messenger:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Just landed via X:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Called in, β€œI’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

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