If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

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Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

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In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

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The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

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Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

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Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

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Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

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Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.