Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Hey, if you're gonna critique my driving, do it from a safe distance – like the sidewalk! 🚗💨 Just saying, it's hard to focus on road rage when you're riding my car like a hood ornament! 😂 #DrivingDrama"

calm, calm down, complain, driving, hood, humor, least, road, safety, sarcasm, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

0

2 months ago

bar, crumbs, DIY, food, granola, humor, nature, Nature Valley, resourcefulness, snack, three, valley
The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

0

2 months ago

born, mess, place, right, right place, right time, tedious, time, trick
I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

0

2 months ago

bed, dangerously, edge, foot, humor, i, life, live, living, living life, night, over, risk, sticking
I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

0

2 months ago

angel, chat, coordination, fate, future, future husband, group, group chat, guardian, guardian angel, humor, husband, i, love, relationship, trying, wonder
Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

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4 weeks ago

activity, bible, Bible parody, humor, joke, night, night activity, old, parody, pun, read, reading, testicle, tonight, wordplay
Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

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3 months ago

ability, car, car ride, hours, never, patience, quiet, ride, silence, speak, stare, staring, underestimate, window

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Discord this month:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

69 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Just landed via X:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Just shared via Reddit:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Just landed via YouTube:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Making waves on Slack:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Trending via Telegram:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Trending via Messenger:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨