Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,031

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Trending via Instagram:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Just landed via Pinterest:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Spotted on Telegram:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you realize the fridge is just as empty in a mansion 🍽️🤷‍♂️ #StayHungry"

commentary, experience, family, humor, hunger, irony, live, person, social, social commentary, want, wealthy, wealthy person

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

0

2 months ago

emotion, human, learn, learning, proper, someday
If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

0

2 months ago

coming, ever, humor, just, nature, observation, slow, snail, surprise, wit
Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

0

2 months ago

3, 3 a.m., a.m., again, am, being, deprivation, getting, ghost, hearing, hoping, humor, just, means, night, noise, parent, parenting, sleep, sleep deprivation, toddler
Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

0

2 months ago

depressing, emotion, ex, humor, i, love, media, miss, myself, people, post, relationship, shit, social, social media, start
Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

0

2 months ago

around, Craigslist, dark, dark humor, everyone, humor, internet, joke, marketplace, murder, online, online marketplace, over, safety, still
No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

0

2 months ago

adolescence, around, awkwardness, drama, enough, humor, puberty, self-deprecation, social, social drama, teenage, teenage years, time, year’s

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

85 shares on Threads this month:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Trending via Slack:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Just shared via TikTok:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Going viral on Twitch:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Making waves on Snapchat:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Going viral on Twitch:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨