If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Commentary:
“Oh, the cosmic giggle that must echo through the heavens when we try to impress the big guy with our squeaky ambitions! 🎈😂 Just imagine God chuckling as we float away with our high-pitched dreams! 🤣 #DivineHumor”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs friends when you have a plastic surgeon to lift your spirits and your face 🤣💉 Don’t worry, be Botox-y! 😁 #SmileEnhancement”

  • No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

    Commentary:
    “Trying to resist that craving for Samoa after indulging in Polynesian food is like trying to resist hitting the snooze button on a Monday morning ⏰🤤 Just accept it – Samoa always wins the food game! 🍴😜”

  • Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the dream of multitasking in style – Octopus goals! 🐙💥 Just imagine the chaos of eight simultaneous slaps! Just make sure those eight people aren’t armed with octopus repellent 😉🦑”

  • In a relationship with my heated car seat.

    Commentary:
    “Sorry, my heart belongs to someone else… my heated car seat! 🚗💕 Who needs a significant other when you have constant warmth and comfort at the touch of a button? #RelationshipGoals”

  • I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

    Commentary:
    “Learning from other people’s mistakes? Nah, not my style. Giant wooden horse on my doorstep seems totally legit though. 🏛️🐴🏠 #TrojanHorse #OopsIDidItAgain”

  • I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the high stakes of pace! Better keep up or risk a dramatic demise a la Speed bus 🚌💨 Just imagine the epic soundtrack that must play in your head as you rush through life! 🎶⏱️ #NeedForSpeed”