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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Going viral on Messenger:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Trending via Messenger:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Going viral on Threads:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Spotted on Discord:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

0
If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.
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Commentary:
Sure, let me help you straight into a comedy show! 😂🤦‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

54 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

67 shares on Discord this month:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

78 shares on Slack this month:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The shitshow must go on.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Is losing your mind a hobby?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,379

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Just shared via Twitch:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Trending via Threads:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Live now on Facebook:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Making waves on Threads:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

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