Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,241

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Seen just now on X:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Breaking via Discord:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Shared recently on Twitch:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Just shared via WeChat:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Making waves on Threads:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to exist online without getting offended is like playing dodgeball with a brick wall! 😂💻🚧"

easily, even, humor, internet, irony, media, offended, online, sarcasm, social, social media, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

0

2 months ago

20, appreciation, corporate, corporate job, email, humor, job, killer, money, salary, should, someone, tips, work, work humor, workplace, worst
Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

0

3 months ago

communication, deaf, family, girlfriend, humor, loud, misunderstanding, mum, need, needs, relationship, slow, speak, special, special need, told
I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

0

2 months ago

care, conversation, funny conversation, humor, i, me, meeting, nemesis, partner, relationship, rivalry, tell
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

0

2 months ago

age, age gap, aging, every, gap, hell, humor, inside, nostalgia, older, person, reflection, self-awareness, wondering, younger, youth
Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

0

2 months ago

better, dumb, entertainment, humor, movie, movie rental store, nonsense, nostalgia, opinion, rental, store, stores, streaming, technology
I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, forgetfulness, humor, life, me, mind, station, thought, train, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Messenger this month:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨