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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,231

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Just shared via WeChat:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Trending via Threads:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Making waves on Telegram:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Shared recently on YouTube:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Seen just now on WeChat:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Shared recently on X:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

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I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.
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Commentary:
Who needs a plane ticket when you can just wake up tired? ✈️😴🌍

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

76 shares on Slack this month:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Onion rings? I’m answering.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Just shared via Reddit:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Trending via Pinterest:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Seen just now on X:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Seen just now on Slack:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Seen just now on Discord:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Freshly posted on Discord:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

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