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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Breaking via TikTok:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Just shared via Twitch:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Just landed via X:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Shared recently on Facebook:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Just shared via Twitch:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time to admit, that my bank account is now officially my secret Santa 🎅💸🎁

buying, Christmas, holiday, humor, i, myself, present, presents, procrastination, self-gift, shopping, stage, start, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

0

2 months ago

doctor, hanging, health, humor, joke, just, left, me, medicine, prescription, relationship, Viagra
Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

0

5 months ago

freckle, humor, letting, outdoor, skin, summer, sun, sunbathing, today
“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, cycle, frustration, humor, inevitability, life, never, pass, place, reality, struggle, take, this too shall pass, too
Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

0

2 months ago

bottle, condiment, fast, faster, food, humor, ketchup, kitchen, little, nothing, only, want
They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

0

5 months ago

experience, humor, invent, invention, life, relationship, sarcasm, should, turn, worst, worst experience
I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

0

5 months ago

athletic, athleticism, confidence, humor, i, intelligence, joke, keep, man, most, sarcasm, scrolling, second, self-deprecating, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Messenger this month:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

23 shares on Threads this month:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

81 shares on Threads this month:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

99 shares on Discord this month:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Going viral on Discord:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Just landed via Twitch:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Going viral on WeChat:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Just landed via X:

The older I get, no.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨