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Commentary:
"Eating for two: me and the fabulous future version of myself who apparently loves carbs just as much as I do! 🍕🥗😂 #FutureGoals #CarbLover"

eating, food, humor, i, me, motivation, person, self-improvement, strive

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

2 months ago

adventure, another, future, humor, i, planet, ticket, travel, wish
It was me, I let the dogs out.

2 months ago

antic, confession, dog, funny moment, humor, i, let, let out, me, moment, pet, pet antic, responsibility
The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

4 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, daily, daily life, day, every, humor, life, responsibility, single, struggle, thing, worst
My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

2 months ago

Amazon, before, being, day, delivery, digital, five, humor, i, means, mine, new, phone, privacy, sarcasm, surveillance, technology, track, tracking
“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

2 months ago

comedy, comparison, culture, different, floor, funny comparison, hit, humor, humorous, humorous quote, joke, let, men, music, music joke, parody, pop, pop culture, same, song, song parody, view
An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

2 months ago

bar, home, humor, introvert, isolation, joke, just, kidding, social

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Messenger this month:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

44 shares on Threads this month:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Shared recently on TikTok:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Trending via Pinterest:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Going viral on Instagram:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

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Activity Log ✨

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

It was me, I let the dogs out.

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨