I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.