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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Seen just now on TikTok:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Going viral on Twitch:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Trending via Reddit:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Spotted on X:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Going viral on Facebook:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Making waves on Slack:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

2 months ago

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Navigating adulting like it's an advanced-level video game and I accidentally skipped the tutorial 😅🎮📈

adult, adult life, adulting, career, feel, humor, i, life, management, manager, promotion, quick, quick promotion, too, underqualification, workplace, workplace humor

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Telegram this month:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

33 shares on Slack this month:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

49 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

80 shares on Threads this month:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

43 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Relationship status: he escaped.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

91 shares on Discord this month:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Making waves on Facebook:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Trending via Reddit:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Making waves on Instagram:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Just landed via Facebook:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨