I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.