Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,021

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Trending via Discord:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Spotted on X:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Seen just now on Slack:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Seen just now on Threads:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Just landed via Instagram:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Going viral on Twitch:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Seen just now on X:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Breaking via Reddit:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Live now on Threads:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Navigating adulting like it's an advanced-level video game and I accidentally skipped the tutorial 😅🎮📈

adult, adult life, adulting, career, feel, humor, i, life, management, manager, promotion, quick, quick promotion, too, underqualification, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

0

5 months ago

bother, communication, debt, humor, late, late reply, love, me, money, patience, relationship, reply, take, time
I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

0

5 months ago

betrayal, breakup, cheating, concert, end, even, found, got, hard, humor, husband, i, irony, linkin, Linkin Park, matter, me, music, park, relationship, tried
Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

0

2 months ago

exercise, fitness, hell, humor, i, ibuprofen, pain, pain relief, relief, somebody, support, work, workout, yes
I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

0

2 months ago

again, bag, blood, blood pressure, fit, free, handy, humor, i, irony, kit, never, once, pressure, relatable, stuff, take
My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

0

2 months ago

favorite, fitness, gym, humor, irony, joke, machine, snack, vending
Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, humor, language, let, nothing, self-awareness, slang

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Threads this month:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

67 shares on X this month:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Trending via Facebook:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Shared recently on Twitch:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Going viral on Twitch:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Trending via Instagram:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨