I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

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You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

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Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

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Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

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It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

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Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

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Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

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Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

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Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

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I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

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“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.