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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Just landed via YouTube:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Going viral on Slack:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Seen just now on Discord:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

3 months ago

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Now I understand why they looked at me funny when I suggested a Roomba could handle stairs! 😂🏃‍♂️✨

age, getting, grandparent, grandparents, having, humor, i, nostalgia, realization, realize, upstairs, vacuum, where

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Trending via Pinterest:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Just shared via Messenger:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Trending via TikTok:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Making waves on Discord:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Live now on YouTube:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

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Activity Log ✨

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨