Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,241

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Trending via WeChat:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Just landed via Threads:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Seen just now on Instagram:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Trending via YouTube:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Just landed via Reddit:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Going viral on Reddit:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs sanity when we can have a road trip in our brains? 🧠🛣️😜

casual, casual speech, coming, crazy, going, humor, invitation, me, speech

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad choice, choice, choices, croc, Crocs, footwear, humor, i, life, never, pair
If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

0

2 months ago

choice, choices, humor, irony, life, life choice, media, posts, ridiculous, self-deprecation, should, social, social media, think
Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

0

3 months ago

boy, boys, daughter, easier, family, humor, parent, parents, ruin, save, saving, stereotype
Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

0

5 months ago

better, communication, ex, humor, i, misunderstanding, most, mumble, osbourne, ozzy, Ozzy Osbourne, relationship, still, through
This meeting could have been an oil painting.

0

2 months ago

art, critique, humor, meeting, office, oil, oil painting, painting, sarcasm
They’re making me get out of bed.

0

1 month ago

bed, getting, getting up, making, me, morning, reluctance, sleep, tiredness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Slack this month:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

94 shares on Slack this month:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Going viral on Messenger:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Just shared via YouTube:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Breaking via Telegram:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

They’re making me get out of bed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨