Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,306

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Just shared via Messenger:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Just landed via Slack:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Spotted on WeChat:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Trending via Slack:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Spotted on WeChat:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Yes, I'd love a slice of 'peace of mind' and don't forget the bedtime snack! 💤😴🍪"

anyone, anything, bedtime, casual, evening, going, humor, humor quote, joke, relaxed, sleep, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

2 weeks ago

actually, being, benefit, crazy, ghost, ghosts, humor, i, joke, know, people, spooky, three, visit
Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

2 months ago

ago, dumb, every, growth, humor, i, realization, realize, self-reflection, year
Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

1 month ago

employment, full-time, humor, job, list, lists, load, making, mental, mental load, productivity, think, thinking, thought, thoughts, work
Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

2 months ago

30, honesty, humor, kids, leaving, me, minutes, parenting, procrastination, time
I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

2 months ago

breakup, girlfriend, hate, humor, jealousy, me, rat, relationship
You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

2 months ago

ever, everyday, everyday life, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, movement, moving, rage, road, road rage, slow, slow movement, someone, store, walking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on X this month:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

66 shares on Threads this month:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

75 shares on X this month:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

The world started without permission again.

Shared recently on Threads:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Spotted on X:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Breaking via Telegram:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Just shared via Instagram:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Making waves on Discord:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨