Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,260

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Spotted on Threads:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Just shared via Discord:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Spotted on Slack:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Going viral on YouTube:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Live now on WeChat:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Yes, I'd love a slice of 'peace of mind' and don't forget the bedtime snack! 💤😴🍪"

anyone, anything, bedtime, casual, evening, going, humor, humor quote, joke, relaxed, sleep, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

2 weeks ago

Christmas, countdown, days, decoration, decorations, holiday, humor, impatience, people
“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

2 months ago

ears, humor, music, reaction, turn, turn down
Half princess, half menace.

2 months ago

contrast, duality, half, humor, menace, personality, playful, princess
When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

2 months ago

dependency, free, freedom, humor, irony, people, phones, technology, tether, wireless, wires
I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

2 months ago

Bigfoot, hiding, human, humans, humor, i, nature, right, solitude, stay, think
I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

2 months ago

aging, breaking, humor, i, knees, noise, prepared, someone, sound, spaghetti, stairs, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Twitch this month:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

81 shares on X this month:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

75 shares on Threads this month:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Making waves on Slack:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Just shared via WeChat:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Just shared via X:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Going viral on TikTok:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Half princess, half menace.

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨