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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,766

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Breaking via WeChat:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Shared recently on Slack:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Going bananas on Slack:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Going viral on Telegram:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Yes, I'd love a slice of 'peace of mind' and don't forget the bedtime snack! 💤😴🍪"

anyone, anything, bedtime, casual, evening, going, humor, humor quote, joke, relaxed, sleep, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

2 months ago

again, beauty, beauty routine, blow-drying, grooming, humor, legs, need, routine, self-care, shave, time, too
Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

5 months ago

advice, day, humor, management, mode, morning, panic, rush, start, start day, starting, stop, stress, time, time management
Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

1 month ago

bright, communication, faster, hear, humor, intelligence, irony, light, people, perception, sound, talk, wit
It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

1 month ago

crush, even, feelings, hope, humor, infatuation, just, love, optimism, romantic, sarcasm, unsupervised
I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

5 months ago

anger, daily, daily life, expectation, frustration, humor, i, life, mad, media, next, open, phone, social, social media, surprise, tomorrow, wait
The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

1 month ago

aging, before, car, enjoyment, fun, getting, getting in, getting out, humor, life, priorities, sports, sports car, trick

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Spreading quickly via X:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Just shared via X:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Making waves on TikTok:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Trending via Slack:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

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I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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