Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Breaking via Instagram:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Just landed via Reddit:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Going viral on YouTube:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Making waves on Threads:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Shared recently on Discord:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Trending via Instagram:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Going viral on TikTok:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Live now on YouTube:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a network where the only boss is your couch! 🛋️😂

called, humor, invention, job, network, people, pun, social, social network, unemployed, website

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

0

2 months ago

account, empty, financial, financial struggle, Halloween, humor, inside, joke, just, money, savings, savings account, spirit, Spirit Halloween, struggle
Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

0

2 months ago

communication, hello, humor, leave, message, speak, technology, toaster, voicemail
Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

0

2 months ago

humor, imagine, introspection, irony, just, me, negativity, room, self-hate, self-reflection, solitude
I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

0

2 months ago

hour, humor, i, job, money, need, nothing, reasonable, salary, wild
My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

0

2 months ago

around, avoidance, cleaning, cloth, cut, dirt, floor, humor, i, just, kitchen, line, procrastination, relatable, robot, same, spin, vacuum
The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, bring, bring back, competition, duel, humor, need, thing, tradition

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

94 shares on Instagram this month:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Trending via Slack:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Just shared via X:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨