Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Going viral on X:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Seen just now on Threads:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Trending via Twitch:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Spotted on Slack:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Spotted on Telegram:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Trending via TikTok:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Transforming into all the spud-forms: couch, chair, and bed! 🥔😂 #PotatoLife

always, bed, bed potato, chair, chair potato, couch, couch potato, humor, later, laziness, potato, relaxation, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

0

5 months ago

allowed, fine, fine print, Friday, grumpy, humor, mood, print, rule, somewhere, weekend
Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

0

2 months ago

body, doctor, health, humor, joke, laugh, magnesium, me, medical, OMG, pun, run
A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

0

3 months ago

compliment, flattery, girl, humor, me, pretty, pretty girl, self-confidence, should, sitting, sky, star
Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

0

5 months ago

computer, device, evil, feels, healthy, humor, phone, screen, screen time, technology, time
People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

0

2 months ago

diet, food, frustration, humor, lunch, mad, people
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, laughter, life, positivity, short, short life, smile, still, teeth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WeChat this month:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

80 shares on X this month:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

67 shares on X this month:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Spotted on Reddit:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Making waves on Threads:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Live now on Facebook:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨