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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Earth is hard.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Just landed via X:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Going viral on Threads:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Live now on YouTube:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Transforming into all the spud-forms: couch, chair, and bed! 🥔😂 #PotatoLife

always, bed, bed potato, chair, chair potato, couch, couch potato, humor, later, laziness, potato, relaxation, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

2 months ago
calm, conflict, face, frustration, head, humor, i, irony, punch, thoughts, times
Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

2 weeks ago
celebration, cute, food, fork, holding, holiday, humor, just, me, medieval, medieval warrior, Thanksgiving, trying, warrior, while
I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

1 month ago
always, darth, Darth Vader, ever, everywhere, hell, hero, humor, i, just, run, running, saunter, seen, sprint, style, vader, villain, walking, walking style
The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

3 months ago
anything, budget, diet, eating, finance, humor, joke, lack, lifestyle, money, poverty
Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

3 months ago
35, alone, being, business, business day, day, days, energy, humor, introvert, left, recharge, sleep, social, social energy, solitude
The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

1 month ago
activity, around, bang, catch, class, crates, critter, crush, easy, eat, fun, fun activity, game, giant, head, humor, jump, Mario, mushroom, super, Super Mario, video, video game, want

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Spotted on WeChat:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

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I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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