Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Just shared via Threads:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Spotted on Messenger:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Breaking via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Shared recently on X:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Spotted on Threads:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Just landed via Reddit:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Going viral on WeChat:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

1 month ago

Playful quote about changing from couch to chair to bed potato, humorous and witty.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Transforming into all the spud-forms: couch, chair, and bed! 🥔😂 #PotatoLife

always, bed, bed potato, chair, chair potato, couch, couch potato, humor, later, laziness, potato, relaxation, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

26 shares on X this month:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

48 shares on X this month:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Just landed via X:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Trending via Snapchat:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Making waves on X:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Making waves on WeChat:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

I would rather lose you than the argument.

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I would rather lose you than the argument.

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨