Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🌳🦅 "I'm not your dream woman. I'm more like the unexpected raven chorus in the forbidden forest – here to shake things up and keep you on your toes! Who needs dreams when you've got startled birds, am I right? 😂"

am, dream, dream woman, enter, forest, hear, humor, i, nature, raven, ravens, shouting, sudden, surprise, surreal, unexpected, warning, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

0

5 months ago

algorithm, gods, hot, humor, i, just, let, media, online, post, revenge, selfie, social, social media, work
I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

0

2 months ago

Banjo, Chandelier, humor, influencer, Instagram, kid, kids, mom, name, parenting, Parmesan
Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

0

2 months ago

baby, coffee, coffee machine, comparison, daily, daily life, ever, excitement, exciting, funny comparison, humor, life, machine, new, new purchase, parenting, purchase
My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

1

2 months ago

even, freestyle, humor, pattern, shuffle, sleep, sleeping
My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

0

2 months ago

convenience, eating, eating out, favorite, food, humor, i, order, phone, pick, recipe, where
Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, blocked, blocked nose, breathing, having, health, humor, irony, life, nose, perspective, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Threads this month:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

12 shares on Slack this month:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

47 shares on X this month:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Seen just now on Threads:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Spotted on Instagram:

Body by sandwich.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Making waves on Facebook:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨