Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🌳🦅 "I'm not your dream woman. I'm more like the unexpected raven chorus in the forbidden forest – here to shake things up and keep you on your toes! Who needs dreams when you've got startled birds, am I right? 😂"

am, dream, dream woman, enter, forest, hear, humor, i, nature, raven, ravens, shouting, sudden, surprise, surreal, unexpected, warning, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

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3 months ago

candy, child, eating, family, helping, humor, i, lie, M&M, nephew, search, snack, yesterday
I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

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2 months ago

around, attitude, badass, casual, casual attitude, chewing, confidence, enough, humor, never, self-image, toothpick, toughness, walk
Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

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2 months ago

app, communication, humor, message, technology, text, text message, voice, voice message
Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

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2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, downfall, humor, i, irony, me, positivity, praying, self-reflection, thinking
Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

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4 months ago

accident, accidentally, am, anyone, healing, humor, i, me, much, oops, relationship, too, uninterested
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

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2 months ago

bad, bad decision, brain, choice, decision, humor, insomnia, let, life, life choice, me, overthinking, self-reflection, sleep, stay, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

All I think about is death and sex.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Breaking via Discord:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Shared recently on X:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Just landed via Reddit:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨