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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,001

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Going viral on X:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Just shared via X:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like a career shift to "Squirrel Whisperer" is on the horizon! 🐿️🌲📱

away, chat, creature, creatures, exhaustion, forest, forest creature, friend, group, group chat, humor, introvert, social, social exhaustion, vanish, woods

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

1 month ago
anxiety, escape, ever, flatulence, helpful, humor, i, kidnapped, nervous, situation, think
Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

1 month ago
ability, awareness, everyone, except, good, humor, missing, morning, people, read, room, sarcasm, skills, social, social skills
Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

1 month ago
enjoy, fun, kiss, live, need, promise, spontaneity, today, tomorrow
There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

2 months ago
excuse, finding, humor, know, laziness, let, let me know, me, procrastination
I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

1 month ago
eyes, glasses, humor, hurt, i, irony, lady, lark, laugh, old, old lady, reading, unexpected, vision, wanted
I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

1 month ago
communication, exactly, humor, i, love, nonsense, reaction, saying, sense, stuff

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Just landed via WeChat:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Trending via YouTube:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Spotted on Threads:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Breaking via YouTube:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Live now on YouTube:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

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I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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