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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Going viral on X:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Just landed via Discord:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Just shared via X:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Just landed via TikTok:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like a career shift to "Squirrel Whisperer" is on the horizon! 🐿️🌲📱

away, chat, creature, creatures, exhaustion, forest, forest creature, friend, group, group chat, humor, introvert, social, social exhaustion, vanish, woods

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

0

2 months ago

bed, book, books, chocolate, comfort, empty, humor, liar, night, relationship, side, sleep, snore
Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad habit, habit, habits, humor, laziness, mother, respect, should
“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

0

2 months ago

body, day, eat, humor, lay, lay down, laziness, listen, okay, relaxation, self-care, snack, snacks, wants, well
Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

0

2 months ago

confinement, distance, earphone, earphones, entertainment, feels, frustration, jail, journey, long distance, long journey, noise, serving, silence, term, travel, travel frustration
Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

0

2 months ago

battery, dependency, devices, humor, leave, loneliness, me, own, self-reliance, technology
Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

0

2 months ago

accent, British, British accent, humor, irony, self-deprecation, smart, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Live now on TikTok:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Spotted on Threads:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Spotted on Messenger:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Just shared via Reddit:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Seen just now on TikTok:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Just shared via Messenger:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Trending via Pinterest:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨