Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Going viral on Facebook:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Shared recently on Reddit:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Trending via Telegram:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Spotted on Slack:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Going viral on Pinterest:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Going viral on Twitch:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Shared recently on Threads:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

3 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
"Right? I blinked and my weekend evaporated faster than my motivation to adult! 😅⏰ #WeekendSnatchers"

balance, frustration, humor, leisure, little, short, short weekend, sick, time, weekend, work life, work-life balance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

1 week ago

creativity, humor, joke, plastic, problem, solve, turtle, turtles
Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

3 months ago

accident, billboard, car, distraction, drive, driving, humor, irony, reading, safety, said, text, texting
No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

2 months ago

excuse, humor, i, next, once, schedule, shadow, sorry, tiredness, week, work
It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

1 week ago

entertainment, humor, music, observation, people, seats, songs, Usher, weird
I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

1 week ago

change, day, doing, every, every day, flirt, humor, ID, laundry, me, meant, name, relationship, think
Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

3 weeks ago

Funny, humor, life, media, post, posts, should, social, social media, why

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on WeChat this month:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

54 shares on Discord this month:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

56 shares on X this month:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

13 shares on Discord this month:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

16 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Just landed via Facebook:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Just shared via Discord:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Just landed via WeChat:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨