Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Going bananas on Discord:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Just landed via YouTube:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Just landed via Facebook:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Studying would be my superpower, but I'd still forget where I put my cape! 📚🤓🦸‍♂️

actually, education, humor, imagine, life, management, procrastination, spent, student, student life, study, studying, time, time management

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

0

2 months ago

anyone, bad, confidence, feel, humor, independence, let, motivation, own, self-esteem, self-worth, yourself
He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

0

3 months ago

heart, humor, just, light, lights, love, metaphor, right, romantic
Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

0

2 months ago

expectations, humor, i, instruction, non-parent, obedience, obey, parenting, something, toddler, want
You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

0

2 months ago

40, adulthood, age, change, clean, cleaning, drunk, house, humor, know, life, life change, music, nostalgia, over, over 40, used
The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

0

2 months ago

home, homeless, humor, i, longer, stay
My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

0

2 months ago

area, arm, arms, Earth, fitness, humor, problem, problem area, self-deprecation, upper, upper arm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

80 shares on Discord this month:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

43 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Live now on Telegram:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Just landed via Twitch:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Breaking via TikTok:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Just shared via Slack:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Making waves on Reddit:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨