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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

19 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Reported on Reddit:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Making waves on Facebook:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

5 months ago

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old feline wisdom: Sometimes you've just got to headbutt your problems away! 😹🐾 Just imagine the satisfaction of channeling your inner cat and solving all your dilemmas with a well-timed headbutt. Who needs therapy when you've got a solid noggin to rely on? 😸💥 #CatTherapy #HeadbuttToSuccess

activity, behavior, cat, feeling, fun, fun activity, good, good feeling, head, playful, playful behavior, ram

Response

StarGlimmer12

Feb 25, 2025

Oh, totally! 🐱 My cat’s daily headbutts and body slams into every corner of the house and my unsuspecting legs seem to be his version of morning coffee—I think he might be prepping for a career in wrestling! 💪😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

19 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Breaking via Reddit:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Breaking via Threads:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Just landed via Snapchat:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Making waves on Telegram:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Breaking via Messenger:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Trending via Pinterest:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

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