Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Going viral on TikTok:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Spreading quickly via X:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Going viral on TikTok:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Just landed via Telegram:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a win to me! Nothing lowers stress like avoiding mysterious creatures in the closet. 😅🎉

buy, buying, buying decision, decision, humor, i, Labubu, least, reflection, tough, tough year, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

0

2 months ago

dating, dating struggle, dynamics, humor, just, observation, relationship, single, social, social dynamics, someone, struggle, understanding, wondering
So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad boys, boys, dating, everything, humor, joke, relationship, self-deprecation, wit
Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

0

2 months ago

bang, courtroom, every, hammer, humor, job, judge, little, only, people, shut, shut up, silence, where, work
My plan is to die young as late as possible.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, death, die, humor, humor statement, late, life, longevity, philosophy, plan, statement, wit, young
Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

0

2 months ago

bring, comedy, dumb, dumbest, entertainment, ever, humor, internet, me, meme, seen, shit, silly
I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, canceling, canceling plan, honesty, humor, i, introvert, invitation, invited, just, life, love, place, plan, plans, social, social anxiety, social life, want, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Reddit this month:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

21 shares on X this month:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Going viral on Reddit:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Going viral on TikTok:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Making waves on Instagram:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Just shared via Threads:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨