Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Going viral on Reddit:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Making waves on Threads:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Live now on Messenger:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

3 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like a win to me! Nothing lowers stress like avoiding mysterious creatures in the closet. 😅🎉

buy, buying, buying decision, decision, humor, i, Labubu, least, reflection, tough, tough year, year

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41 shares on Slack this month:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

18 shares on Discord this month:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

24 shares on X this month:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Just shared via Telegram:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Just shared via Messenger:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Going viral on Messenger:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Just landed via Messenger:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Freshly posted on X:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

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Activity Log ✨

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨