Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,828

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Making waves on Messenger:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Live now on Facebook:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Shared recently on Reddit:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Just landed via YouTube:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

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It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about getting some 'whine' with your wind workout! 🌬️🍷 Just breezing into the wine store like a true connoisseur. Maybe Mother Nature just knows you need a little vino after that intense cardio session! 💨💪🏼 #windyworkout"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

89 shares on Facebook this month:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

41 shares on X this month:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,058

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Trending via Pinterest:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Breaking via WeChat:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Just shared via Slack:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Just shared via Instagram:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Talents: eating!

Making waves on Discord:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Spotted on Twitch:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

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