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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Making waves on Twitch:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Trending via Messenger:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Live now on YouTube:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Making waves on WeChat:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Live now on Discord:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Spotted on Discord:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Humorous text about a windy day causing a funny accidental detour.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about getting some 'whine' with your wind workout! 🌬️🍷 Just breezing into the wine store like a true connoisseur. Maybe Mother Nature just knows you need a little vino after that intense cardio session! 💨💪🏼 #windyworkout"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I need to drink less water. This peeing situation is out of control.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Just landed via Slack:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Going viral on Reddit:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Breaking via Pinterest:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Just landed via Pinterest:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

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