Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Oh good. Another day.

Spotted on Threads:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Going bananas on Threads:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Spotted on Twitch:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Going viral on Pinterest:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Embrace your inner craziness… it's the secret ingredient to a balanced diet of madness! 🤪🥗 #HealthyInsanity"

balance, health, healthy, humor, insane, little, mental, mental health, positivity, self-care, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

0

7 days ago

explaining, humor, judge, judgment, just, me, much, myself, please, sarcasm, too, work
I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

0

2 months ago

behavior, cat, cats, everything, humor, i, love, misunderstanding, shit, slap, understand
Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

0

2 months ago

another, attitude, break, defiance, humor, i, me, nonconformity, rebellion, rule, rule-breaking, show, too
It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

0

2 months ago

engagement, frustration, humor, media, metrics, need, popularity, social, social media, ten, views
Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

0

2 months ago

ASAP, attack, confusion, Googling, having, internet, internet search, means, misunderstanding, panic, panic attack, search, stress, urgency
My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

0

2 months ago

big, big house, chance, country, dog, house, humor, i, only, rescue

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Telegram this month:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

54 shares on X this month:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

56 shares on X this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Shared recently on Threads:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Trending via Facebook:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Seen just now on Threads:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Making waves on Slack:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Going viral on Facebook:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨