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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Happiness is an inside job.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Just landed via Slack:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Just shared via Instagram:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Trending via Pinterest:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Just landed via X:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Forget the camel, I'm just here to find out if Carl has a Yelp rating 😂👐🐪

animal, camel, Carl, desert, horse, humor, i, name, rental, return, return trip, through, travel, trip, true

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

1 month ago
advisory, common, common sense, heat, heat advisory, humor, i, know, need, outside, phone, sarcasm, sense, skin, summer, warning
How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

1 month ago
dark, humor, irony, life, light, Monday, time, weekend
I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

1 month ago
away, dreams, escape, humor, i, imagination, murder, plan, silly, wake
She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

1 month ago
bro, communication, conversation, dating, humor, leave, read, relationship, speechless
I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

1 month ago
astrology, celestial, humor, i, moon, most, nature, ocean, respect, three, wolf, woman, women
Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

1 month ago
ability, detail, direction, distraction, exaggeration, humor, incredible, irony, self-deprecating, superpower, wrong, wrong direction

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Trending via Discord:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Going bananas on Discord:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Live now on Slack:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Shared recently on X:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Shared recently on Slack:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

That awkward moment between birth and death.

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

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It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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