Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,942

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Making waves on X:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Just landed via YouTube:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Making waves on Slack:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Going viral on Slack:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Trending via Reddit:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Live now on Telegram:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hope you’re ready for that swingin’ lifestyle! Just remember, it's all about keeping your balance! 😜😂🎢

9, anxiety, asked, childhood, club, enough, good, humor, i, join, joke, little, nervous, situation, social, social situation, swing, swingers, swingers club

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, app, digital, download, entry, gates, heaven, humor, imagine, irony, technology
And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

0

1 month ago

bag, bags, children, collection, family, gift, gift bag, humor, humor quote, i, inheritance, leave, tote, tote bag
Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

0

3 months ago

25, advice, after, age, before, brain, decision, girl, girls, humor, i, kid, kids, marriage, married, reasonable, relationship, us, why, working
That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

0

1 month ago

awkward, awkward moment, confusion, conversation, humor, idea, interaction, just, misunderstanding, moment, social, social interaction, times
“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

0

2 months ago

always, brain, breasts, convertible, humor, mean, means, topless, wit, wordplay
Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

0

1 month ago

communication, dating, friendship, humor, i, life, lot, media, message, people, relationship, social, social life, social media, stopped, texting, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Threads this month:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Shared recently on Facebook:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Shared recently on X:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Just shared via Slack:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Trending via Messenger:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Going viral on Messenger:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Just landed via Reddit:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Just shared via Messenger:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨