Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Just shared via TikTok:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Making waves on Instagram:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Making waves on YouTube:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Just shared via TikTok:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Hope you’re ready for that swingin’ lifestyle! Just remember, it's all about keeping your balance! 😜😂🎢

9, anxiety, asked, childhood, club, enough, good, humor, i, join, joke, little, nervous, situation, social, social situation, swing, swingers, swingers club

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

6 months ago

comet, escape, hope, hoping, humor, procrastination, responsibility
Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

2 months ago

character, contrast, existence, humor, parody, shady, slim, Slim Shady, sunny, thicc, Thicc Sunny, wordplay
Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

2 months ago

daily, daily life, forgetfulness, home, humor, left, life, list, shopping, where
We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

2 months ago

absurdity, entitlement, humor, jets, military, paid, payment, satire, should, stuff, take, tanks, want, whenever
Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

2 months ago

act, behavior, birth, birth control, control, course, humor, men, relationships
Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

2 months ago

behavior, cat, cats, dumb, just, lick, normal, politics, tedium

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Twitch this month:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

79 shares on YouTube this month:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

20 shares on YouTube this month:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Just landed via Messenger:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Going viral on Reddit:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨